First Daze of School

And she's off!  Every afternoon, with her backpack and snack in tow, Little Miss Four heads off to kindergarten.  She loves it.  No tears.  No fussing.  Couldn't wait to see the back of me.  Can't say I blame her. 

After the first few days, one of the little boys in LM4's class was crying before school and didn't want to go in,  His mom was comforting him, soothing him, encouraging him, doing all the right things as far as I could tell.  But the poor little peach stood against the looming brick wall, tears streaming down his pale little face, inching slowly toward the door.  I saw his mother turn away as the tears filled her eyes--we never want our kides to see how upset we are--and I too, began to well up under my sunnies in the mother empathy thing most of us seem to have.  Her little guy managed to get himself inside the school and the Mary Poppins-ish kindergarten teacher assured the tearful mother that he would be fine. 

And he was.  After a few more days, he seemed to get better.  Myself and some of the other mothers whispered to our kids to make sure they asked the little boy to play because then he wouldn't feel so sad.  I don't know if they did--I think all the kids were pretty scared, and each one dealt with it in their own little way.

But on that day I wondered to myself--what do you do in this situation?  If you take him home, are you teaching him he can leave any situation if it seems too hard, or are you encouring him to acknowledge and listen to his feelings?  If you make him stay, are you sending the message that his feelings and instincts should be ignored, or to persevere even when something seems scary or difficult?  Will he be sitting in front of his therapist in 15 years time sobbing, "And then she just left me to go to kindergarten all by myself!  The horror!"

What would you do?  What did you do?

This whole parenting gig is hard.  Damn hard.